Well,
I’m the spicy kind of honey.
xxj
I am jana. I write.
chosen words.
these mindscapes are whispers of my heart and a plunge into my thoughts.
Well,
I’m the spicy kind of honey.
xxj
Learn to dream.
Dream the other way around.
Dream inside out.
Dream clearer.
Dream with the heart.
xxj
Storms build up slowly
hide behind soft clouds
and quiet lies
behind bright horizons
they announce themselves with darkness
and a particular feeling
a fresh wind
that tells you they’re coming
you know it without looking
you sense them without seeing
clear skies obscure
only a fool denies
thunder and lightning keep their secrets
their force is unforgiving
and the night is over
it’s really over this time
and no words can soothe
no arms can shelter
a sudden turn to a sinister atmosphere
sombre seconds of a heavy heart
too tired to run
too exhausted to find new excuses
how much love can one waste
on the same sun?
blown away
soaked in raindrops
familiar cold
no heads held high
violence can be done unknowingly
hurt is natural
life does not take it easy on you
someone will always lose
until clear skies reappear
or the moon‘s silhouette reassures
a red evening
promises a brighter day tomorrow
but for now
run.
[lesson learned?]
halfway broken
halfway empty
drawn to water
seated in cold
a feeling crawled up
behind her neck
and she looked
felt it without looking
felt him without seeing
knowing his movement
understanding this bodylanguage
a language she learned by heart
she could listen from far away
she knew
she sensed what he felt
knew that smile that appeared on his face
and her chest grew so heavy
before it shrinked too small
the pain was vivid
it shook her up
and she knew
that it was all wrong
and it was not his smile
it was the disappointment
in trust
it was her
her she disbelieved
the disbelieve in herself
for finding herself in this spot again
how many of her hearts
can be broken?
how much of her love
can she waste on him
– and how much time?
lonely is her most painful way to be.
(incomplete)
xxj
Bubbles will always burst.
Eventually.
xxj
“Wieso?”
Pause
“Ich verstehe die Frage nicht.”
xxj
[niemals.]
I dive in your eyes
into an ocean of love.
xxj
Und während ich mich so im Kreis drehte,
fragte ich mich,
was das bringen soll,
das alles,
und all die Kreise.
Ich fragte mich,
wo Kreise enden?
Wo Kreise ein Loch haben?
Ob es einen Unterschied macht,
ob es grosse oder kleine Kreise sind?
Und als ich mich so drehte,
dachte ich,
es läuft alles rund,
bis die Wände allmählich näher kamen,
und der Himmel.
Und irgendwie fühlte ich mich bodenlos schwer,
abgedreht,
wie von schwindelerregender Höhe hinabschauend,
auf eine winzig kleine Figur,
die sich um sich selbst wirbelt.
Und obwohl ich mich so weiterdrehte,
fühlte ich mich nicht besser,
ich fühlte mich aber auch nicht schlechter.
Also was heisst das jetzt?
Soll ich den Drall aufrechterhalten?
Weil ich doch schon in Rotation versetzt wurde?
Weil ich den Weg kenne,
aber nicht das Ziel?
Wer kennt schon das Ziel?
Wir kennen alle nur Kreise.
Und selbst wenn wir plötzlich anhalten,
uns umschauen,
anderen beim Kreisdrehen zuschauen,
bleibt nur die Erkenntnis,
dass wir alle nicht wissen,
was wir tun sollen,
ausser uns zu drehen,
zu drehen im Kreis.
xxj
[echt zum Kotzen.]