you ask me to say
what I don’t feel
although I used to feel this
all the time.
times have changed
and I cannot say
what I used to say
because I meant it.
I cannot say it anymore
because I cannot feel it
I just feel tired
and fed up
instead.
my stomach is empty
and so is my brain,
blank
how do you put nothingness
into words
if not with silence.
The thing is,
that I would like to say it
but I don’t know how
because something is missing
that would make sense.
Sometimes I can say it
and not mean it
because I remembered how I used to feel
and I know you need to hear from me
those words
just for the sake of it.
I know you are scared
because you also
cannot find this feeling in me anymore
this meaning
that I used to carry for us
every day.

(unfinished)